In these few lines, I describe the winding road I traveled in finding the Church. In all honesty, I hadn't noticed how beautiful the road was until I wrote it down on paper, and how timing is of the essence. I write this to share with all my family, friends, and everyone, to let you know that God has a special plan for all of us.  I encourage each of you to take the time to write about how God has touched your life and I applaud all who recognize His work in our lives. The most hated word in the dictionary is change. If you are looking for something more, to see if there is a higher way of living, you must confront the most hated word and embrace it. I challenge all to take the discussions from the missionaries and know what I know. 
     With all my love, EMANUEL FRANCIS ZEVALLOS

My name is Emanuel Francis Zevallos, and this is my story about my conversion. Instead of using eloquent words, I will speak with simplicity so that all types of people can understand the spirit and pureness of the emotional journey that I went through in finding Christ’s church on this earth.
 

In the beginning, I grew up in a Catholic home and attended all religious events. My intent in attending church was to grasp the uplifting, spiritual ambience that touched my heart. I gained a sense of sanctuary as I attended these early religious services. These experiences assisted me again and again in my search for truth. In other words, Philosopher Rumi summed it up like this. He stated that our mind conceives the truth to be an indispensable food to feed our souls, because God is truth and resides in us. Truth feels delightful. “When we speak about the reality of God, we are like a school of fish, wondering whether the sea exists or not.” I humbled myself and determined to occupy my mind with God and with Jesus Christ as my savior. I was driven by the peaceful emotions that came when I prayed or stepped into church or heard the priest expound on scriptures and his personal encounters. However, I did not ask if the church was true or not. I was guided by the legacy of my parents. I trusted their judgment, not God’s.


            The only reason I was in that church was because that was all I was shown. It reminds me of how Jesus, though he was schooled by his Father in the perfect doctrine of eternal salvation, went to the sermons of the Pharisees because of his location, situation, and status as a child. I was very devoted to the Catholic mass, ushered in church, and even read scriptures in front of three hundred people from time to time. I really enjoyed being a part of a spiritual congregation. I attended Catholic school for two years. I also took classes about religion outside of school and in the fifth grade wrote: I want to be a missionary when I grow up.


            When I was younger I wrote some very interesting things in my journal. I began writing poems that disturbed my parents greatly. One of the poems involved these questions (paraphrasing):

Who is God?

What is love?

Why is there a family?

Why am I here?

If I don’t know these things, there is no reason to live.

 

            Reading these words, my family thought I was melancholic (depressed) and concealed these poems away from me. They hid them away in their bathroom drawers. Fortunately, I found the poems later while I was cleaning. I truly believe that these poems were reflections of my inner spirit crying for the truth -- a hope that my Father in heaven wanted me to find the truth and that it was available somewhere. God never leads us to a room of questions without providing a light switch that can shed light on the answers every soul thirsts for. I’m so grateful for my mother and father for always setting the example in my life. My father groomed me to pray and watch inspiring movies of Christ. My mother nurtured me in morals and ethics. She always reminded me that I was a child of God. Her actions toward me were God-like. She succored and eased me by bringing peace into my life.


            Seventeen years later, however, I had become a rebel without a cause.  I never attended school until my parents sent me to Virginia Hargrave Military Academy. This academy transformed my outlook.  I realized I was going nowhere if I continued to drown myself with negative thoughts. At that point, I changed my attitude and went back home. My friend, Lindsey Ward, told me, “I heard you are going to another military school. If you come back a failure, don’t even come back home, I don’t want to see your face.” These words restored my passion for achievement. Oscar Wilde once said “True friends stab you in the front.” A true friend cares about your progression, and tries to help you forget the past, peel off your dead skin, and start anew. In all simplicity, my friend was truly adding value to me because he knew my potential before I knew it myself.
 

Why do I allude to this moment in my life? Because the path to discovering the Church of Jesus Christ is guided by true revelations. The Lord was speaking through my friend. I have realized that just as your mother and father know how to make you react and recognize what you need to learn and what you need to hear to be inspired, so much more does God, our eternal parent, know how to speak to us through people, so that we may reach our full potential. I once heard someone say, “Who we are is God’s gift to us, who we become is our gift to Him.” If you are looking to excel in life, excel spiritually. Then, all parts of your life will be filled, because you glorify your maker. If you look back in your life, all the defining moments were conversations and breakthroughs that were inspired by God. We should never feel alone. No one on this earth who has the slightest religious inclination to draw close to God will ever feel alone as long as our living God exists. We will never be alone; we are never deserted due to the eternal companionship of our Father in heaven.

            Returning to military school, I worked very hard and slept only three hours a day for three years. For three years my GPA was a 3.5.  I was at the third highest position in the entire school. I worked tediously to gain the first position and often fell into a perfectionist depression. A mix of sleep apnea and my persistence in proving to my parents my true potential led me into this depression. At times, I felt like I was avoiding God's light, hoping my eyelids would glue themselves shut--never to see God’s beauty again. It was at this low point of my life that I received my testimony that God and Jesus Christ exist.


             One day, I came to my room and, for the first time ever, began to pray with words from my heart, disregarding the formal rhythm-oriented prayers I had been taught. My unordered words and pleading to my Lord began:

 

Lord, I know it is not just for me to ask for a sign or miracle to happen to see if you exist. I’m not worthy to call upon your power, and to mock the word faith. But I need you, please understand. I want to be a positive influence for hundreds of people in this school. If you help me to make this happen, I will never doubt your power or the power of your Only Begotten Son.
  1. I pray that you may assist me to become the highest ranking officer in the entire school so that I can be a role model to the people in this school; to show them that if I can succeed, coming from where I came, then anything is possible and they will believe that they too can excel in all their endeavors.
  2. To get the highest score in the Annual Federal Inspection for our school (a test where several Generals from the military test our school and how military distinguished it is) to be able to see the best performance in ninety years. (Before this, the school graded around a 98 percent)
  3. To have a companion that would be with me during the hard times.
I promised that if all these three things would come to fruition; I would never question his existence ever again. May you humble me in the exact moment of these prayers coming into fruition, that my awards and recognition may be shadowed and encrusted by your light, leaving your children with a reason to believe in miracles and a higher power.

Four months later I conclusively won a competition with twelve other officers and became the highest ranking officer in the school. I made speeches every other week to an audience of three hundred people, even though I have no real public speaking ability. We received the highest score in our AFI inspection of 99.9%. Lastly, I met a girl named Michelle LaForest who called me every morning to share a poem or funny joke. She was always there to console me. God lives and His answer was clear. Never again have I denied him and never more real has His hand been in my life.

 

At this time, I had been associating with the wrong friends. I had a bad outlook on the LDS members because of ridiculous rumors and negativity from non-practicing Christians who said mean things about the church. I only know what I know. Ignorance equals spiritual poverty. I came to Utah for a visit and it was a miracle that my Aunt Mirtha, who is a member of the church, knew I was there. She came with all my cousins to drop off a copy of the Book of Mormon. Yet, because of my association with spiritual detractors, I was never so closed-minded in my life. I never touched a page in that book because I had a friend who would not let me. The saying was true in my life: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”  God had been ready to reveal to me who I really was. I just refused to be ready. The first member with a testimony had dropped a seed, and the harvest took years. But a seed is a seed nonetheless.

 

Seven years later, I became an entrepreneur. I was impressed by a man in the company named Chris Hughes, who touched my soul into a blissful and superior place of peace. He spoke about business, but his tone and his aura awoke in my heart feelings like the ones I had received at church as a child. How can a man manifest this spirit to me? He spoke in a training meeting, and I could not understand the feelings I had in my heart as he spoke. I didn't even know this man! I began observing his business ethics, his morality, and listening from a three foot distance to get any special insights into his “way of being.” I once heard him say, “You buy someone’s opinion and you buy his lifestyle.” I wanted his spirituality. My second member with a testimony had dropped another seed. His gardening skill of watering my essence with his example was as light shining on a sun-starved flower. Gordon B. Hinckley once said “The most persuasive gospel tract is the life of an exemplary Latter-day Saint.”  Chris Hughes was my example. He told me things about storing riches in heaven and not working on Sundays. He mentioned about speaking with the inspiration of the Holy Ghost. He spoke about service to many and how it serves Heavenly Father. These insights changed my life.

 

After seven months of watching him, however I still did not know he was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. Until one day, my sister and I were at a crowded event and she said “look there he is, let’s go talk to him.” I said “he looks really busy talking to other people, let’s just head home.” As I turned away, she said “no, look he’s open, lets both go...c’mon!” Then, I walked with her, and we asked all these questions about his religion and what he believes. Then he told us something that altered my life. “I want to mentor both of you guys.” I took this as an invitation to learn more about his religion. If my sister hadn’t received the inspiration to stay, I would presume that the tending of my seed would have had to wait for another season.

 

At this time, I was inactive in the business due to my hunger for spiritual knowledge. I read many books a month for about seven months. All these books were about spirituality. Thus my savings and checking account went low.  Money lost its value for me for a time because of this distraction. My life for seven months consisted of reading books, breathing, eating, and sleeping. The library became my safe haven until I learned about the church.

 

One month before Chris offered his mentorship, I had decided to become a catholic priest or a Franciscan. My mother was shocked and apprehensive for me. It’s ironic how people want you to be spiritual but not to become a serious minister of the Lord. She was sad that I would be denying myself the opportunity to ever have a wife. But I had decided that I would do anything to have a closer relationship with God. I was truly hungry to serve my Lord, and didn’t know how else to become more spiritual. After receiving priest interviews, I announced to several of my friends that I was about to sign up for Loyola Marymount University to study and major in theology and divinity.

 

In the perfect timing of my Father in heaven, Chris stepped in, and I became a student. With his encouragement, I began telling people that I was interested in going to the Church of Jesus of Christ. My friend, Rudulpho Lopez, invited me to attend the LDS church with him. The FEELING of being in a room with many of the young latter-day saints was indescribable. I felt like I was finally home. Chris also invited me to his home in Murrieta and we spoke about religion. I felt feelings of affection and peace at his house. I desired to have those same feelings in my future home. That memory continues to stay with me just from a single invitation into his home. It became a pivotal day of my life. I didn’t want to leave. This was a big part of my testimony of how powerful members are in this church. He listened to me just as our Father in heaven is prepared to listen to us.  As we listen to his will, we are freed from our own destruction.

 

I received a copy of the Book of Mormon from the San Pedro missionaries. It had someone's testimony written in the front. I was undergoing surgery at the time and lay in my bed for about two weeks. I read the Book of Mormon in about two and a half weeks. I also read the Gospel Principles book in about four days. During my reading of the Book of Mormon, I felt the Holy Ghost testify to me the truth of what I was reading. After my recovery, I decided to track down the ward in my city. I walked in on a Thursday and met with a lady named Joy, and she told me what time to come on Sunday. When I returned on Sunday, I met the missionaries at church and told them that I already knew the Book of Mormon is true and that I had read the Gospel Principles book, and it resonated with my soul. During the reading of the Book of Mormon, I felt my chest fill up with warmth. No book had a sweeter taste to my hungry soul. My mind and heart had never felt such peace and stillness my entire life. In the middle of the night at 2 AM, my cell phone turned on, and I awoke to a light hitting the edge of my bed. I stood in awe looking at my ceiling. The side was a profile of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I knew I wasn’t dreaming, but I stood there and cried and knew this was personal. Also, many of my friends began to be curious about what I was reading, and they felt power and conviction from my voice. Two of them told me that they wanted what I had. I knew these were signs that showed me that I was headed in the right direction.

 

In bullet format I went through these things:

  1. My family was very concerned and not responsive to my investigation with the church, even slightly demeaning. I responded, “Instead of questioning what I know, why don’t you question if I am happy with my find!?”
  2. My mom invited me to Peru where I was obliged to meet with two priests who tried to convince me not to be baptized and said I was not going to heaven if I don’t stay. My mom meant well, and so did the priest. I acknowledge that his words were of his love not God’s love. In our church, there is doctrine that people who don’t hear about Jesus Christ will have time in the millennium to be preached to. Everyone will have the chance to enter his fold! GLORIOUS!
  3. Some of my friends made fun of me, and rude comments became typical. I have learned to identify with the French philosopher who said, “If you don’t want to receive persecution, don’t ever speak about the truth.”

Sir Winston Churchill wrote, “In times of war, the truth is so precious that she will be well attended by a bodyguard of liars.” In this case, these were times of spiritual war. I know what I know. I know what I felt, and I'm grateful that God is finally letting me associate with His church because of what I know. Truth feels good; lies are full of discomforting feelings in our souls. Everything from the church is true, because I have felt the comfort and joy the Holy Ghost brings in the acknowledgement of true things.

           

“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.  And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.   And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:3-5) [The Book Of Mormon-pg. 529]

 

No other religion gives you this promise by which you may know the truth of what you are reading and hearing about any type of doctrine. God’s church is the only one that can give you that promise.

 

The missionaries taught me, and I was baptized August 19, 2007. That day I will never forget. When I came out of the waters, I was given the opportunity to express my thoughts.  I tesified that through my prayer and my studies, my Father in heaven had showered me with gallons of joy and unstoppable, overwhelming comfort knowing that His Church was restored. I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; that He came here as a fore-ordained sacrifice for our sins. He came that we may return to our Father’s presence. My biggest joy comes from knowing that we chose to come here to this earth, and we promised our Father that we would be open to His Church. Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, who was the first prophet to begin a period where no apostasy of His church will ever happen again.

 

Jesus Christ gave us his atonement so that we may repent and be clean and spotless on a daily basis. Thomas S. Monson is His Prophet today; the Lord continues to lead his Church. We are now preparing the Lamb of God’s church to present it to Jesus when he comes again. Revelation and conversation with God are real. The Book of Mormon is not a fairy tale, but a history of a civilization of followers of Christ in the middle Americas who rejoiced in the coming of Jesus the Christ. The book is the word of God just as the Bible is the word of God. God loves us and is involved in our lives.  We can’t always see it ourselves because we are the masterpiece that He is creating. I know that my Father in Heaven knows us and loves the sinner as much as he does the saint. But I also know that once you find His church and obey his will, your life will be more peaceful.  Giving and showing love back to Him is our privilege. 

            We must become more child-like and open to his influence in our lives. We should be open to listening to the missionaries, who carry the good news of the gospel.  Thus, we can become part of the harvest in the Lord's garden. I know that the ordinances of the gospel have been restored.  The Children of Israel have found, as the Bible says, the habitation where our savior dwells and stays awake as we bring more into His fold. I know these things through the power of the Holy Ghost. The Lord said, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” Are you able to hear and recognize the sound of His knocks... but have never fully embraced the feeling you would receive by opening the door and allowing Him in? I found the door and I opened it. I know this is the true church of our Savior and redeemer, JESUS THE CHRIST. This is my testimony. I will live and die as my soul rejoices in these truths. I say these things humbly in the name of Jesus Christ.

 

My final thoughts: speaking to the lost souls of the world, this is what Jesus Christ, the shepherd of our souls, said He would do once He found people who humbled themselves and searched for truth as lambs astray:

"And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost." (Luke 15:5-6)
            If I can sum up my words and bring the story of my conversion to a short synopsis, with all the miracles, revelations, searching and humble moments that occurred, no words can describe my feelings better than these two words. I repeat them to myself with tears of joy: I’m home…I’m home…I’m home.